It was a strange Saturday afternoon. This is what I saw and overheard at El Walmar in Oxnard, CA, on Saturday afternoon, March 1, 2008. Tons of people doing their shopping. It reminded me why I don’t like shopping when the stores are packed:
SCENE 1:
[Camera pans from left to right following a young man walking through the main isle, chatting really loud on his cell phone]
A young, unshaven white-trashy guy, left arm tatted up, wearing an old yellow t-shirt and loose, Wal-Mart type jeans hanging off the bottom of his ass. He looks not a day older than 19 and his holding his cell phone up to his left ear, talking loudly as he walks through the main isle.
“Dude, it gets even BETTER!! My daughter is now calling him ‘Daddy’! I can’t fu*king believe it! I can’t believe she would let MY daughter call him ‘Daddy’! I’m so pissed off at that Bit*h!”
SCENE 2:
[Camera focuses on a couple stopped with thier shopping cart in front of the Sandwich Bread section]
Two older Veteranos, probably in their mid-30’s, but because of the hundreds of thousands of miles on their life odometers, each easily looked like they were in their late-40’s or early-50’s. She’s an older, larger Chola, La Veterana, with tattoed-in eyebrows and long black hair, parted down the middle and feathered old-school style, wearing a dark blue hooded sweatshirt, zippered downt the middle. Together with her Old Cholo, they stood with their shopping cart in front of the sanchwich bread section. Their backs were to the middle of the isle as they were looking at the loaves of sandwich bread on the shelf and comparing prices.
All of a sudden, a younger woman, La Crazy, looking disheveled like she hasn’t slept in days, quickly pushes her shopping cart past the old Veteranos and bumps into the back of La Veterana, without stopping. About 10 feet past the drive-by bumping, La Crazy stops, turns around and the following exchange happens:
La Crazy: WHAT???!!!! [Yelling while snapping her head back defiantly and raising her two arms in the air, palms up]
La Crazy: WHAT???!!! WHAT are you looking at??!!!
La Veterana: YOU bumped into me!! [raising her voice, ready for Chingasos]
La Crazy: FU*K YOU!! [Yelling]
La Veterana: FU*K YOU… BIT*H!!! [Yelling]
At this point, La Crazy just stares, turns around and walks away quickly, cursing in a low voice. I immediately head the other way as quickly as possible, pretending I didn’t see anything, not wanting to get hit by shrapnel.
SCENE 3:
[Camera focuses on the Milk and Eggs section, no one is around except for me]
Off camera, you hear the loud noise of an accelerating electric engine, then a very loud voice yelling in English, “NO…NO!!!… NOOOOOOOO!!!!”. Then a split second later, the really loud sound of shopping carts crashing together. The same sound you hear when the store clerks outside in the parking lot are slamming shopping carts together, trying to collect them as fast as they can. I turn around and take a look, figuring somebody must have gotten hurt. I see an older Black Lady, about 3 and a half Bills heavy, Large Marge, sitting in a Wal-mart electric shopping cart (you know the type-you’ve all seen it before). Large Marge just broadsided this Mexican lady, La Ranchera.
La Ranchera: I sorry! I sorry! [in broken English while walking away as fast as she can with her eyes and head looking straight down at the floor humbly]
Large Marge: GOD DAMN!!! [Yelling]
Large Marge: I GUESS I DIDN’T HAVE THE RIGHT OF WAY!! [Yelling at the backside of La Ranchera as she walked away]
Large Marge: [Unintelligble cursing in a low voice]
